There is nothing more difficult for a family than having to go through a divorce and this is a very common thing to see in blended families. The main issue is that many parents start to see serious issues when they bring their children to live with the children of their new spouse.
This is difficult because many kids refuse to have to lie with a new family and they often resent the parent that has custody. This type of situation can be extremely hard for families to overcome. The main thing to keep in mind is that there are ways for coping to happen when you are in a blended family situation.
We are going to be talking about blended families that get together after a divorce from former spouses and also about blended families that go through divorces. Both of these situations are very different and they can both create a set of different reactions from family members.
The first thing to consider is that any blended family is going to require a set of rules;
One of the biggest concerns when it comes to blended families is that everything can be smooth for a while, but after sometimes passes, children can easily become resentful if they have any discussion with members of the other family.
It’s important to note the word “other family” because even if you feel that your blended family is getting along, they will always separate the family when there are arguments and fights. This is the reason why you need to make sure that you can sit down with the family and set some rules in terms of how you interact with each other.
The main and most relevant rule is that everyone should be respectful to each other and this is very important. Once the respect starts to fade from either side, this turns into a slippery slope and there is very little you can do to turn things back around. Never forget this and always consider it to be crucial.
The best thing to do is to always enforce respect between every member of the family and anyone who wishes to voice their opinion should do so without raising their voice or insulting others. This is the level of respect that should be requested of every member of the family with no exceptions.
Bond with your partner’s children
This is going to be very helpful, as you need to be able to learn to bond with your partner’s family just as much as you learned to bond with your partner. This is going to be a process that is going to take time and you cannot expect this to be an immediate transition. Once you get started with this and you set things in motion, you will notice that it will become much easier to learn more about them and their personalities as they also learn about yours.
Ultimatums should never be allowed
There are many cases when blended family members will give someone in their family an ultimatum. They will say that it’s either them or your new partner his or her family. Never let your kids give you that ultimatum and make sure that your spouse is also ensuring that this is never an issue with their kids.
This is very important to mention because it is one of the most commonly used tactics that are implemented by children when there is friction with the blended family. Making sure that this is not going to be a problem is essential.
Kids and teenagers.
Kids younger than 10 years of age are usually going to have an easier time dealing with a blended family situation that happens suddenly. This is not going to be the case with teenagers who are more likely to feel resentful and angry that they are being forced to live with a new family.
This is a situation that can be very difficult to handle, but at the same time, parents need to be there for their kids and let them know that this is a transition that is hard for everyone, but that it will have a great outcome of they all contribute to the process of getting to know each other.
One of the hardest things for teenagers isn’t to accept a new parent as they are old enough to understand the situation. The real problem with teenagers is with having to share their space with other children.
This situation becomes even more difficult if they have to share a room, not just a house, but each family needs to adapt and handle their situation differently.
Divorces in blended families
There are also situations in which the parents of a blended family decide that they cannot live together and they file for divorce. When this happens, the blended family is going to have a hard time dealing with the situation, but it can definitely be harder when they have just recently adapted to their new family environment.
This type of situation can make things much harder for families to ever trust the idea of being in a blended family. There are cases when people have been in two different blended families after a first divorce. Coping with this separation is difficult, but in contrast with adapting to a blended family, teenagers are usually going to have an easier time dealing with separating from blended families, while younger kids are more likely to have a hard time with this process.
Final thoughts.
The process of getting a divorce and then starting a new blended family can be very difficult for some people. The main issue with this is that it can all be ruined by a lack of communication and a lack of structure. This is why we recommend that people take the time to adapt and they don’t try to force things.
A blended family can become a very close and loving family, but it does require that communication is always optimal.
