There are many different aspects to relationships and most of them are related to both people involved. With that said, there are third parties that are likely to get involved in the relationship and they are usually the in laws.
There are many situations in which in laws can be difficult to deal with and this can become quite problematic for couples. It is important that you are able to handle this from the very beginning in order to avoid any issues down the line.
Get your partner involved
Each one of you should address these boundaries with the intent of making them equal for both sides of the family. Your partner should agree to everything you decide, and you should agree to what your partner decides. This is why you need to start by talking to your partner and deciding what kind of boundaries you are going to set.
Once you have gone over all of the topics you want to touch with your in laws, you can finally set up a meeting. Just be sure that you can think of everything that you want to bring to the table.
Set boundaries early on
It is essential that you set specific boundaries and rules once you move in with your partner. All of these boundaries should apply to both sides of the family. The best way to do this is to sit down and have a conversation with all of the in laws at once. This way no one feels attacked or left out. This means that both your parents and your partner’s parents should be at this meeting.
Don’t wait until you have a disagreement to set these rules and make sure that you do this immediately after you move together with your spouse. Everyone will be in a more harmonious relationship the sooner you get this out of the way.
Make sure visits are always announced
Some people are ok with their parents dropping in on them unannounced but this may not be the case when they are living with their partner and they want privacy. It is a good idea to ask the in laws and your parents to call before they show up at your house.
It is good to let them know that they are always welcome at your house, but announcing their visit is ideal just to make sure that you are home and not busy. This is going to prove to be one of the best ways to handle this without making anyone feel offended.
Learn to deal with criticism
In laws and parents in general can be overly critical of the way you live your life as an adult. This is something that you are probably going to do if you have kids when they grow older. The pong being that you need to learn not to take this personally and understand it is art of what being an in law is about.
They are constantly trying to tell you how to do things and this is part of the nature of their evolution into their senior years. Older people have made many mistakes that they wish to help you avoid, but just as it happened to them, we only learn by experiencing things.
Perhaps a good way to make this process easier for you is to understand this and it will make it less difficult for you to deal with their criticism.
Don’t try to win minor arguments
Unless your in laws are affecting your life in any way you find serious, you should avoid trying to win arguments. One of the easiest ways for people to have issues with their in laws is to always try to win conversations, debates, and arguments. Sometimes agreeing to disagree can be the best way to deal with a conversation that is getting too passionate.
Once you learn how to do this, it will become much easier to handle this situation as it happens over and over again, because it will. The point is that it doesn’t have to become a serious issue.
Be clear that their role is to be grandparents
If you have children, you need to establish that the role of your in laws as well as your parents is to be grandparents. This means that unless you are making a seriously grave mistake with your children, they should just stick to playing with them and enjoying quality time with them.
When you do this, they will be more likely to stop trying to parent your kids, which is often going to lead to many disagreements and issues. This is why you have to tell them to be grandparents and to enjoy their time with the kids while you do the difficult part of parenting them.
Let them know that you are here to take care of their son or daughter
Sometimes in laws can be a little overwhelming in trying to continue to be parents to their children. Even when a man or a women is fully grown and independent, one or both of their parents may still want to take care of them and get too involved in their lives.
If this happens, you need to consider the value and the importance of telling them that they can rest easy because you will take care of your partner. Just by saying this, you may get them to stop being so intense in their involvement.
Being in a relationship is difficult enough at times without having to deal with drama caused by the in laws. This is the reason why you need to take the time to look into the advice we have provided in order to ensure the best possible relationship with your in laws.
Keep in mind that communication is key with any kind of relationship. Be it the one with your spouse, or the one with your in law, you need to keep this in mind at all times for optimal results.